Dear Reader,

it is often said:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

NOT by Albert Einstein

This is one of the most misattributed quotes you can find on the internet. I have seen many sources stating that the earliest occurrence is in the novel “Sudden Death” by Rita Mae Brown, attributed to a fictional Jane Fulton. I don’t have a copy of the book, and I have read terrible reviews, so please bear with me if I don’t buy it just for the sake of verification (and, of course, I already have too many books to read on my nightstand!)

What is fitting with a scientific mind like Einstein’s is that, given sufficiently good conditions, an experiment will yield the same result repeatedly. An experiment’s key feature is to be repeatable, i.e. different teams in different times and places should appreciate the same phenomenon with the same intensity. Another way of stating the matter could be: “experimental setups have no memory”. They are just like a lottery: every draw is independent of previous ones. Another way of stating the matter could be: “experimental setups have no memory”. They are just like a lottery: every draw is independent of previous ones.

Given these premises, I agree that it should be regarded insane to use your arm to throw a ball in the air hoping that it reaches the moon, or to try to go below absolute zero with a kitchen fridge (or with any other fridge).

However, there are conditions under which I would not say that doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome should be regarded as insane. Varying results may occur when people are involved because humans, unlike experimental setups, do possess memory and may change their response to the same action based on previous instances. A specific person is not an experimental setup, of course!

In general, caring for people is not insane: on the contrary, it is one of the basic facts that make us humans. I have written about this in the past (Intensive Care Unit). If you genuinely care for someone, you should not give up on her/him, as indifference is almost the perfect opposite of love.

By extension, groups of people behave under the same logic. Take, for example, acts of morality or civil resistance: they are performed repeatedly by people facing injustice and misbehaviour from others because they are just the right thing to do. And if someday things will start to turn out differently… well, sometimes good deeds are rewarded; sometimes planting a seed and watering the soil gives fruits. You can expect to see society change by doing the same apparently hopeless action over and over.

So, what is the point of all this premise? It is straightforward, almost obvious, but I want to write it down to remind myself of how things work in life. Let’s try to write down two basic “laws of human relationship”:

  1. You can show other people care and attention, which is almost always a prerequisite for having them show interest in you
  2. You cannot have people wanting to spend time with you if they don’t want

You should be brave and strong enough to try applying law 1 well more than once, without losing hope if, at first, you don’t see the result you hope.

But then again, you should be wise to know when law 2 kicks in and brave and strong enough to let it go gracefully. Nothing is permanent.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes it hurts, but that’s just how it works.

Until next time, if you are in doubt, consider showing your care once more.